Friday, June 20, 2008

More Valuable than the Rock on your Finger!

Most people reading this have already paused, looked at their finger, and thought "No Way...but I'm curious, what is it?" There's actually two things, but one will pass quickly.
The first thing, an expense if you will, is your sanity. You'll temporarily lose it, but you'll regret it's loss after the event, never knowing it was gone until you see the video, or don't hear your phone ringing with the friends you've PO'd during your "months of rage."
The really valuable commodity I'm thinking of today is your time. I hope you're saving a little bit of it for me and this blog, but more importantly, you need to have some for yourself and your soon to be spouse, prior to your big day.
Sure, you've got "the rest of your lives together" and all that stuff, but if you ruin your relationship by saying the wrong thing now, what are you going to do later? Don't say anything you'll regret, or do anything you don't discuss. You're "making memories" now, and all the other stupid / related wedding cliche's you can use there.
Consider this...and then reconsider this a second time a day or two later... Hire/empower a wedding coordinator! Your alternative to this is enslavement of a sibling or future ex-friend, but remember, it's your day. You want to remember it...the good parts. Not the part where you were cleaning up in your wedding dress/tuxedo, after your guests have departed. I can help with the reception part of the day (as a DJ, or as a DJ should) but you should still have someone with you to do your running, help carry stuff, or keep track of your "comfy shoes" until you can put them on after pictures.
Another note on selecting a person for this role...married may work better-they've been through this before, and know what you're going through. They may have a better perspective than someone who wants to do it because you're their best/only friend....go with the experience.

Mrs. Plaid, my better looking half/favorite half, has retired her title as DJ widow and taken a part time job as an event coordinator. It's good for her, and she has a great eye for detail. Her problem with this position is in people asking her opinion. She doesn't know when she should say what's on her mind, or tell them what they want to hear. With her well trained eye for style, and the other on the details, she's one of those people you want throughout the whole planning process. Pick some flowers, colors, and flavor of cake and that's about all she needs. The last two she worked on were tremendously successful, and she made a lot of good choices in her words. Don't get me wrong, her honesty isn't a bad thing, she just knows how a bride will want something to look or be when it's looked back upon.

The other downside, when I take a weekend off, I become the Coordinator Widower. We'll see how I like that role reversal.
In summary, take the time to enjoy your once in a lifetime event (I hope it's once), smell the roses, and hire/enslave an assistant. Get fussed over for a day because it'll be your turn to help a friend/relative soon enough.

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